April 10th, 2007 | Feature
The Game Center CX Episode Guide
The front-to-back tribute to the Japanese TV show that flies in the face of Nintendo's epilepsy warnings.

 

Game Center CX Season 6 – Back to Contents
#37
我こそゲームの格闘家!「ストリートファイターII」
I Am the True Gaming Fighter! "Street Fighter II"

Chousen

Season 6 begins, but is it the last? Though the previous season was only six episodes, Arino finds time to fit two more into his schedule for this one. But before anything else, Urakawa comes in and hands him a letter from a young fan and an attached Arino paper doll. Arino reads the letter, then pins the doll on the whiteboard and finally gets ready to play today’s challenge: Street Fighter II!

You might think Arino would buckle under the pressure of something like SFII, but he doesn’t come off very nervous about it. He spends some time at the character select deciding who to be, but eventually settles on E. Honda. The first match is against Ken! Arino doesn’t start off that well, getting pretty close to a KO. But when he starts hitting the punch button repeatedly, he lucks into Honda’s hundred-hand slap and delivers a finishing blow for a total turnabout. Shocking! But of course, that’s just round 1. Round 2 isn’t quite as lucky, as Arino falls to a jump kick. Same with round 3, at that. Game Over. Arino checks the manual and learns Honda’s super headbutt move. He restarts, this time against Blanka. He spams the headbutt, and it ends up helping him succeed!

The next match against Guile isn’t as smooth. The heabutt is just no match against Guile’s quick punches and Sonic Boom. Eventually Arino loses again. Perhaps it’s time to try a new character? As Arino considers the select screen again, Inoko MAX comes in with a few papers. Dutiful AD that he is, Inoue presents Arino with a stack of goofily hand-drawn character profiles in hopes that they will help him choose the next best character for the challenge. After reading through the sheets, he settles on Dhalsim. Arino Dhalsim faces off against Ryu for the first match, and does really good keeping his opponent at bay — enough to get him down to just a sliver of health! But then Ryu gets a little too close and uses a Dragon Punch to turn things completely around and knock Arino out. He decides to move on and tries out Chun Li next. Another very quick loss.

Onto Blanka, then. Since he controls much like Honda, Arino easily gets past the first match. But then he comes across Guile again, and loses once more. Since Guile’s apparently so cool, Arino tries playing as him next. He does OK, but he’d still rather try the others. We move on to Ryu, then Ken… still not much progress in the decision-making. The two ADs then step in. Arino settles on Dhalsim (likely because of his incredible reach), but Urakawa suggests warming up against him and Inoko MAX! Just a friendly test, you know? Arino’s Dhalsim and Urakawa’s Ryu go at it. As usual, Arino gets an early lead, but it’s Urakawa who comes out on top. After that, Inoue is up with Zangief. Arino gets creamed in the first round and obliterated in the second, with Inoue getting a Perfect. After that, the two ADs leave, hopefully instilling Arino with some confidence and knowledge. Hopefully.

Arino Dhalsim Kacho goes into full gear and restarts the game. Chun Li’s up first, but her speed is more than he can handle. He loses the first round easily. He almost wins by a hair in the second, but loses to the Spinning Bird Kick, with a sliver of life on each side and just 1 second remaining. The second attempt is also pretty grim, but Arino wins a round with Dhalsim’s noogie attack. But from there on, it’s a roller coaster.

After several retries, Arino finally wins in the second round by a well-placed Yoga Flame. Thank goodness! Blanka is up next, though, and he’s naturally nastier. A few bites on the head later and Arino’s down and out again. He begins to doubt himself. Just for kicks he chooses Blanka on the next try, and his next match is against… Dhalsim! …He dies pretty quickly, so he goes back to playing as Dhalsim.

Arino wins a round this time! And by the luck of the Yoga Fire, he wins the next one! The green giant is down. Arino massages his head and gets ready for the next match. Zangief is the challenger this time! Arino spams the Yoga Fire and pretty much sweeps the fight. He starts chanting "Yoga Fire!" along with Dhalsim, and though Zangief smartens up, he doesn’t smarten up enough. Ironically, Arino finishes him off with a punch rather than the fire. Guile is next, and Arino continues to use the same "strategy." It doesn’t work that well, of course, and he ends up dying more than winning. But, he keeps at it with nary a change in formation, and by the fourth or fifth rematch, he lucks out and suceeds. The weapon of choice, again, is the Yoga Fire. He even scrapes by using it against Ryu! Yipes!

Honda is the next one to succumb to Yoga power, and then Arino goes up agains the "final" fighter on the roster, Ken. Arino loses the first round, and in the second it’s a case of duelin’ fireballs, Dragon Ball-style. Though somehow, Ken lets down his guard and Arino begins the Yoga chain. Ken hops and skips around, but it’s not enough — Arino has him in his sights, and before long he wins the second round. But then the map changes… and three more opponents appear. "What’s this?" Arino says with a mouth full of food. The next match with the first boss, Balrog, begins. Arino holds his head. Dhalsim’s not out of retirement yet! Which is too bad, because he gets walloped by Balrog. Arino concentrates on the ol’ "Yoga Fire/Noogie" assault, and it actually works! Again! Arino and Dhalsim celebrate together.

But then there’s Vega, the nimble claw-wielding bastard. Like with Balrog at first, he whups Arino quickly and effortlessly. But then Arino puts his faith in the fire, and all of Vega’s leaping around can’t deflect the Yoga power. The Spaniard falls, like all those before him. And then, "finally," Arino arrives at Thailand, where Sagat enters the scene. He tries fighting as best he can against Sagat, but the man’s just too tall and that Tiger Uppercut gets him every single time. Arino manages one win with the Fire, but it’s short-lived. Another attempt: he lucks out with the Fire again, winning the first round. And then, again, with enough life to spare, Arino Dhalsim Kacho fells another worthy opponent. Celebration erupts, but once more, the game surprises him.

M. Bison appears, and he’s a speedy one, wasting Arino in ten seconds. That damn scissor kick! Nothing can stop it! The Yoga power fails, again and again. After several defeats, Arino starts to rethink things. He blocks more, for starters. Doing this throws Bison off, and Arino is able to get some fireballs in. Each time one hits, the room erupts in screams. Bison constantly Psycho Crushes right into the path of the fire, eventually losing one round. Arino tries again on the final, but ends up losing.

The cycle of death continues. Arino wins another round in a freak stroke of luck. The tension is palpable. Every strike he lands is met with another scream from the staff. Bison traps Arino in the corner, but he fights back with kicks. He lands another Yoga Fire. And another, and finally… Bison’s out, for good. The crowd goes wild! Arino watches Dhalsim’s ending. The game may be over, but the show isn’t. After that, the ADs come back and challenge Arino to a mini-tournament against the whole staff! Time for a slice or two of humble pie, perhaps?

Urakawa posts the roster of the five staff members who will go up against them. Their names are hidden behind their character choices, so Arino doesn’t know who’s coming up next. The first is Zangief, who is, naturally, Inoko MAX. Inoue hands Arino’s ass to him pretty quickly. OK, whatever, it’s early yet. Who’s next? Urakawa as E. Honda — eep. Arino opens up with a Yoga Flame, but Urakawa is quick to block everything that comes at him. Once he sees an opening, it’s lights out for Arino. After that, the next opponent is Ken under the control of Kibe-kun. After a little bit of cat-and-mouse, Kibe jumps in and lands a combo, but Arino keeps it at bay and wins the first round to a Time Over. Finally, a win!

Two more to go. Arino has no idea who the next one could be — maybe good old AP Tojima? Nope, it’s cameraman Abe! And he’s chosen Guile. True to form, Abe sits down and cracks his knuckles. Oooooohh. But it’s all in jest. Arino just keeps up with the Yoga Fire and Abe is down before you know it. He gets the next round, but Abe’s toasted again soon after. To be fair, he admits that was the first time he’s ever played SFII.

Arino’s at an even win-loss record now, but the fifth opponent will make or break him. He peels back the label to reveal… his own manager! He chose Blanka, so Arino may have a tough time if his manager knows what he’s doing. And… he kinda does! Arino wins the first round by a hair, but loses in the second. Time for the decisive round. Arino lands a Yoga Flame, but is also hit at the same time and dizzied! Manager Blanka takes the opportunity to deliver the finishing blow. And that is that.

Tama ni Ikunara Konna Game Show

It’s the 2006 Tokyo Game Show! Game Center CX saw a surge in popularity over the last year, so Fuji decided to set up a booth for the show to sell merchandise. Whereas Arino walked the show floor fairly freely last year, this time everyone recognizes him. He walks down through the crowd to visit the booth while the smiling otaku around him snap pictures with their phones. He takes a small tour of the booth and talks to the crowd a bit as well.

The segment then shifts to the Game Center CX live stage show later on, where Arino steps on stage and does a bit more talking. Eventually he sits down for a live mini-challenge of Super Mario Bros. The crowd laughs at his mistakes but yells out encouragement as well. Since Arino’s not really able to do a booth tour like last year, the segment ends with him running to the only booth he can get any time with: the Kids Corner.

Romantic ga Tomaranai

A snakey-voiced Arino introduces this new segment up in the attic, which profiles various "romantic" (i.e. perverted) scenes in various games.

A viewer requests the scene from Magical Taruruuto-kun for Famicom, based on the anime of the same name. Arino plays through to the first boss and defeats it. He waits patiently, and then–! A sexy picture of one of the female cast members! He makes sure to save a picture of this one for his camera phone, like a true dirty old man.

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